Showers of Blessings

You will say these are very small sins... [But] it does not matter how small the sins are provided that their cumulative effect is to edge the man away from the Light and out into the Nothing. Murder is no better than cards if cards can do the trick. Indeed, the safest road to Hell is the gradual one--the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts

- C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

In our FWL Book Club this month, we read and discussed The Screwtape Letters by CS. Lewis. If you’re not familiar with this book, it is a satirical novel composed of 31 letters from Screwtape, a senior demon, to his nephew Wormwood, advising him on how to corrupt his “patient” through sneaky, subtle temptations toward apathy, distraction, selfishness, etc.  It is an eye-opening read, revealing the many, many ways we can be lured away from making spiritual progress through little slights, diversions, interruptions, entertainments, preferences, opinions, annoyances, and justifications. 

Last week, I was imagining how Wormwood would be advised by Screwtape to tempt me. Almost immediately, the following scenario popped into my head, and I laughed out loud at how accurate it was:

Dear Wormood,

Great job on keeping her reading about prayer, talking about it, and journaling about it, without actually doing the work of prayer. Keep her comfy on the couch in her robe with her cup of coffee until the morning gets away from her and she has to rush through an abbreviated prayer rule before running out the door to her appointments. 

Ouch…

As long as he doesn't convert it into action, it does not matter how much a man thinks about repentance,

 - C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

And then on Sunday evening, I attended a powerful Sunday of Orthodoxy Pan-Orthodox vespers service at  Sts. Peter and Paul Macedonian Orthodox Cathedral in Crown Point, Indiana, where Bishop Andrei gave a beautiful homily on what it means to be an icon of Christ. He spoke of prayer as the means by which we cultivate and maintain the light of Christ in our hearts. Without it, we grow dark. Not rushed through distracted prayer, but purposeful prayer - deliberate, attentive, wholehearted prayer using sacred elements of the material world sanctified through the incarnation, such as icons, incense, and candles. 

The humans live in time but our Enemy destines them to eternity. He therefore, I believe, wants them to attend chiefly to two things, to eternity itself, and to that point of time which they call the Present. For the Present is the point at which time touches eternity. Of the present moment, and of it only, humans have an experience analogous to the experience which our Enemy has of reality as a whole; in it alone freedom and actuality are offered to them.

- C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

I actually got a little teary as he reiterated the very message I’d felt the Holy Spirit whispering to me in the days leading up to that event. It felt like an invitation to experience the goodness of Christ in a way I’d been too distracted or resistant to priortize previously. All at once, I could see so clearly how I’d been trying to fit prayer into my schedule, which is much different from having my life and schedule revolve around prayer. I was still going through the motions of prayer from a place of scatteredness, casualness, and obligation, saying the words without allowing them to truly penetrate my entire being or recognizing the seriousness of encountering God through prayer either at home or in church. 

You must therefore zealously guard in his mind the curious assumption 'My time is my own'. Let him have the feeling that he starts each day as the lawful possessor of twenty-four hours. Let him feel as a grievous tax that portion of this property which he has to make over to his employers, and as a generous donation that further portion which allows to religious duties. But what he must never be permitted to doubt is that the total from which these deductions have been made was, in some mysterious sense, his own personal birthright.

- C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

Not that God is “displeased” with my imperfect efforts. It’s not a “try harder, so He’ll approve of me” situation! But rather, there is infinite room for growth and increased intimacy with Christ through opportunities in the present moment to get quiet, deny my self-centered impulses, and follow after Him. For example, on the evening of the pan-Orthodox vespers service, I was thinking about how cozy it would be to put on my pajamas and do some weekly planning with tea under a blanket. I almost caved and didn’t attend, but pushed through the resistance (imagining Wormwood on my shoulder feeding me excuses), opened my heart to the experience, remained present and attentive throughout, and was blessed beyond measure by participating! It was glorious! 

There is nothing like suspense and anxiety for barricading a human's mind against the Enemy. He wants men to be concerned with what they do; our business is to keep them thinking about what will happen to them.

- C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

God is ever waiting for me to open myself up to His abundant blessings! I once heard an analogy describing God’s blessings as a shower from heaven raining down on everyone, but we insist on carrying umbrellas of doubt, pride, slothfulness, and distraction. The work of wholehearted prayer and exchanging our own will for God’s will is like lowering our umbrellas and experiencing nourishment for the soul beyond anything this world and its fleeting pleasures have to offer.  

When He [God] talks of their losing their selves, He means only abandoning the clamour of self-will; once they have done that, He really gives them back all their personality, and boasts (I am afraid, sincerely) that when they are wholly His they will be more themselves than ever.

- C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

There are so many ways to dabble in Christianity- to study and debate it, decorate your house with it, give a nod to it on feasts and holidays, bend and twist it to fit your agenda. But there’s no joy or transformation in that, not like taking a leap of faith and “abandoning the clamour of self-will” and becoming “wholly His.” Oh, the beautiful things God can do through a humble, trusting, attentive, and receptive heart! 

He cannot "tempt" to virtue as we do to vice. He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there He is pleased even with their stumbles.

- C.S. Lewis

Journal Prompt:

What "very small sins" are acting as an umbrella, preventing you from receiving Christ's shower of blessings with open hands and an open heart? 

Reflect on a time you overcame your resistance to pray, connect, serve, create, or stay on task. How were you blessed by those efforts?