Trust and Thanksgiving

Our youngest daughter was undergoing a long-awaited endoscopic sinus surgery, and my nerves were on edge from the cortisol-raising ruminations running on autopilot in my head:

"The risks of this surgery include vision changes, a cerebrospinal fluid leak, infection, toxic shock syndrome, and other complications. What if it just doesn’t work? What if the invasiveness of the procedure makes things worse? What if she goes through all of this for nothing? What if…”

The truth is, despite years of doctors’ appointments, blood work, elimination diets, and rotating prescriptions, there have been no definitive answers for my daughter’s perplexing health issues. My natural instinct as a mother to “fix” and “solve” has been thwarted by inconclusive tests and stubborn inflammation with no identifiable cause. Admittedly, I’ve grown skeptical of any new recommendations that claim to provide relief. I wanted to be hopeful and optimistic, but past disappointments infected my thoughts like a virus.

By this point in my life, I’ve grown accustomed to being pummeled by anxieties. Yet another benefit of aging is that I have tried and erred my way into some form of clarity about what does and doesn’t work for escaping negative mind loops.

In the “doesn’t work” column is:

• Trying to reason my way into a more peaceful perspective
• Beating myself up for feeling anxious
• Researching solutions online
• Distracting myself with home improvement YouTube Videos 

In the “does work” column is:

• Gratitude

In his book, Gratitude in Life’s Trenches, Robin Phillips shares this quote from Peter Vishton, an Associate Professor of Psychological Sciences at the College of William and Mary:

Robin Phillips himself added that:

• Gratitude is not an attitude, just as exercise and dieting are not attitudes. Rather gratitude is a practice - it’s something you do.
• Gratitude makes the experience of life, as well as the practice of other virtues, much easier  

It turns out surgical center waiting rooms are great places to practice gratitude. Rather than dialoguing with my anxieties and trudging down the same old tired thought paths, I changed direction by calling to attention all the good things in my daughter’s life, my life, and within this situation:

"I’m grateful for Dr. C and how he really listens and encourages questions. I’m grateful for the friendly anesthesiologist who came in to talk with us pre-surgery wearing a prayer rope and the lovely conversation we had about the Macedonian Orthodox Monasteries he had just visited. I’m grateful for all of the loving messages we’ve received from friends and family who are praying for my daughter. I’m grateful for how the timing of this surgery worked out perfectly with the starting date of her new job. I’m grateful my husband could take the day off work to be here with me, and I’m grateful for his calming presence." 

Naming my blessings felt like looking up from the waves of uncertainty into the steady and loving gaze of Jesus (“You of little faith. Why do you doubt?”). In remembering His goodness and faithfulness within the smallest of details, my trust in His unfolding plan for my daughter increased exponentially. See, gratitude feeds faith, and faith fuels gratitude. It reminds me of how bees receive nectar from flowers and in turn carry pollen from flower to flower, helping them reproduce. The bees and the flowers are interdependent, as are trust and thanksgiving. 

The more I praise God, the more peaceful I feel, and the lighter my mindset becomes. This, in turn, increases my awareness of and gratitude for His unfailing mercies and unshakable promises. It creates a beautiful cycle of simplicity, wholeness, and healing that calms my fragmented thoughts and keeps me grounded in the spiritually rich present moment.

This week, we encourage you and ourselves to practice gratitude as a way to grow in faith and communion with Christ, and consequently in peace. Here are a few tips to get started:

1. Pray the Akathist of Thanksgiving

Composed by Metropolitan Tryphon (Turkestanov) during a time of intense Soviet persecution, this beautiful hymn of Thanksgiving opens our eyes and hearts to the extraordinary gifts that God bestows upon us through nature, art, relationships, salvation, and His unfathomable compassion. It serves as a balm for weary souls, offering a powerful shift in perspective on life, death, and eternity.

2.   Get Specific

Start with low-hanging fruit, like having a roof over your head and food in your refrigerator, to shift your attention from what you’re lacking to what you DO have, then feed that abundance mindset with an ongoing attentiveness to blessings big and small in the here and now. Once you start looking for and naming glimmers, you will begin to see them everywhere! Challenge yourself to get specific:

Thank You for that sweet interaction with my neighbor. Thank You for helping me stay calm when my laundry room flooded (true story). Thank You for that uplifting conversation at coffee hour. Thank you for Psalms that comfort me. Thank You for my library, my parish, my walking partner, my old van that still runs. Thank you for the breath in my lungs and another new morning!

3.   Reframe Your Trials

In the beloved morning prayer of Metropolitan Philaret, we pray, “In unforeseen events, let me not forget that all are sent by You”. Rather than reacting to unexpected difficulties with angst and resistance, try pausing and reframing those trials as opportunities to grow spiritually and increase your trust in Christ. Practicing gratitude during tribulations can transform them into invaluable lessons in releasing what you cannot control to God and cultivating humility, love, and patience.

4.   Give Thanks Before Bed

One of the most powerful habits for a peaceful night’s sleep is an evening prayer rule that ends with gratitude. The combination of repentance, laying your cares at the feet of Christ, and expressing gratitude for the many blessings you received throughout the day protects your soul and mind from the turbulence that can disrupt your sleep. To further safeguard your peaceful mindset, you can repeat the Jesus Prayer or a line from scripture; my personal favorite is, “Be still and know that I am God.” 

My daughter is healing nicely, praise God! The last few years of navigating her health issues have brought me to my knees in tears more times than I can count. And yet, if I view it all through the lens of gratitude, I can recognize this trial as a gift:

"Thank You for teaching me to let go and entrust You with her body, mind, soul, and future. Thank You for this uncertainty that keeps me clinging to You for strength and stability. Thank You for every circumstance divinely orchestrated for our salvation."

Glory to God for all things!