Fostering Fruitfulness

 

“Have the courage to build your life around what is really most important to you.”
― Joshua Becker, The Minimalist Home 

When you hit the pillow at night, how do you decide whether the day was “successful”? Is it checking all the things off your to-do list? Receiving accolades for your talents and efforts? Meeting your deadlines? Fitting in your workout? Accomplishment-driven contentment can often feel like “chasing the carrot”- an endless pursuit of abiding satisfaction always just out of reach. Rarely do all of our best-laid plans actually fall into place. If we expect perfection, we open ourselves up to chronic disappointment in ourselves and our circumstances.

One powerful mindset shift for detaching fulfillment from performance is focusing on “meaning” over “accomplishment”. When my kids were small, and I had little control over my time and environment, I would get super frustrated when, at the end of a hectic day, I’d look around and see the same mess I woke up to hours earlier. Days of rocking babies to sleep, giving baths, refereeing squabbles, and wiping up spills bled into one another without me making any real dent in household projects, my writing and fitness goals, or meal planning. 

Recognizing that season as precious and fleeting, I sensed my frustration was dampening what should be a very meaningful chapter of my life. Connecting success to productivity wasn’t making our home very peaceful, so I linked it to “relationships” instead. Now the question became, “How many warm interactions did I have today?” And by those standards, contentment and fulfillment were always accessible! Stories read on the couch, back rubs before bed, silly songs in the car, walks to the park, and crafts at the kitchen table were all evidence of a day well lived. Reframing my priorities made me gentler with my kids and with myself.  

Since my children are grown, I have much more autonomy over my habits and schedule, and yet the temptations for discontentment remain, presently in the form of decision fatigue and indecisiveness: Should I weed our garden, write a book, go to Pilates, join that committee, paint my office, call a friend, clean out the basement…?  Too many options can feel paralyzing. To protect my peace now, I try to choose “fruitfulness” over “busyness”, meaning long-term growth over keeping up with societal expectations of what it means to be on top of things. 

For me, a “fruitful” day includes prayer, movement, Filled With Less work, rest, healthy meals, attentive listening, gratitude, general order in my environment, and hopefully some creativity. It means my choices align with my core values of faith, stability, growth, and hope, and work together to foster my spiritual, physical, mental, vocational, and relational health. When “busyness” and distractions begin to creep in and complicate the calm and simplicity that fosters meaningfulness, my confusion and stress increase- a warning sign that I’ve drifted out of alignment.  It is my cue to pause and reassess, set boundaries, say no to “too much,” and quiet the noise of comparisons and my own unrealistic expectations.  

This week, upon waking each morning, take a few minutes to reflect on the most important thing you need to do today. Usually, when we sit with that question and pray on it, the right meaningful answer emerges. It could be finishing that research paper, or connecting with your teenager. It could be reaching out to a hurting community member, or tackling your email inbox. Rather than trying to figure it all out yourself, give God room and space to guide you, one decision at a time. Then stay on task and do your best, and when you stumble, get right back up again. Think quality over quantity when it comes to commitments and decision-making. Let your days be a reflection of what matters most to you.