Four Fruitful Realizations

 In high school, I longed to be skinnier, athletic, have straight hair, and cruise around town in a Jeep. In college, I wanted to be more intellectual, an author, or a poet. In my twenties and thirties, I wanted everything: thriving children, a dynamic marriage, a vibrant spiritual life, an organized house, to look good, to be involved in all school-related activities, but also to have downtime and a consistent workout routine, and to make homemade healthy meals that everyone would actually eat…

In my forties, those best-laid plans unraveled as unexpected trials hit hard, and I grew ever so tired of burning the candle at both ends while feeling chronically “behind” and never enough. After countless failed attempts at “bettering myself,” I became discouraged and stuck. With my kids growing up and moving on, my body feeling hijacked by perimenopause, and the regrets of what I didn’t do in the first half of my life taunting me in bed at night, I experienced something akin to an identity crisis, wondering, “Now, who am I?” “Where am I heading?” “What am I good at?” “What makes me fulfilled, peaceful, content?” 

As many of you already know, the turning point for me was not the cessation of my trials or yet another lofty program aimed at fixing all my faults, but rather the seemingly insignificant act of decluttering my closet. That first baby step toward reducing the chaos in my house and my mind revealed a gentler path to renewal. Overfunctioning, overthinking, and overconsuming had only kept me frazzled and aimless, and big sweeping changes were unsustainable. What if I stopped “striving” and started slowing down and listening? What if I traded in my “all or nothing” perfectionism for balance and moderation?  

Six years later, I’m more grounded and fulfilled than I’ve honestly ever been. Sure, a lot of that is due to simply getting older and being far less caught up in keeping up with the Joneses, but my transformation is primarily owed to some significant perspective shifts. Here are four of my most fruitful realizations:

1. It’s all about the journey

When I was fixated on the destination, I heavily focused on the future. Present-tense chores were rushed, avoided, and resented. What truly mattered, I thought, was hurrying up and getting “there” - to the weekend, the finish line, or the next stage or chapter of our lives. By beginning to view the journey itself as my path to growth and salvation, I was able to stay rooted in the present moment, infusing my “here and now” responsibilities and interactions with eternal significance. Being faithful in the little things (attentive listening, staying on task, becoming a better steward of my time, home, relationships, etc.) quieted my restlessness and opened my eyes to the simple joys and blessings right in front of me.

2.  Less is more

Excess was one of my biggest hindrances to clarity, contentment, and peace. I had too much stuff, too many commitments, too much information in my head, too many ruminations, too many expectations, opinions, and assumptions. Decluttering my closet, then my nightstand, bathroom drawers, and eventually our entire home—just one little project at a time—felt so invigorating that I was inspired to simplify more areas of my life. Eventually, I would seriously declutter my schedule and become much more purposeful about developing healthier online habits. I turned to my Orthodox Christian Faith for ascetical tools and spiritual traditions that would help liberate me from the tyranny of my noisy thoughts and ego. With far fewer distractions to stress me out and keep me stagnant, many opportunities opened up for creativity, rewarding ventures, and for serving others. 

3.  Daily inner work is a non-negotiable

After decluttering our home, the next important change I made was to establish a consistent morning routine. For decades, I had slept until the last possible moment and then hit the ground running. I was tired of feeling scattered, directionless, and ruled by my whims and impulses. By setting my alarm earlier and replacing phone scrolling in bed with Scripture reading, journaling, prayer, and reviewing my planner, I began to live out my deepest values daily. My health and relationships improved, my faith strengthened, my hope and joy increased, and I became more fruitful and productive. I cannot just wake up and wing it; I need quiet. I need Jesus. I need stillness, time, and space to set my intentions and make the healthiest choices possible from one moment to the next. 

4.  I can’t go it alone

It’s incredibly difficult to make lasting changes in isolation. Connecting with a supportive tribe of women who share similar goals and mindsets has been a GAME CHANGER. Having Cynthia as a mentor has provided me with accountability and invaluable coaching in my weaker areas. For years, our FWL Membership has met weekly via Zoom to inspire and uplift one another while immersing ourselves in intentional living rhythms and perspectives. Growing together as a community has helped me release old habits that did not serve me and finally achieve consistency in habits I’d longed to adopt but could never stick to on my own.

We were never meant to spend our days chronically stressed, despondent, and anxious. It is our deepest desire to encourage your efforts to reorient your life around the pursuit of Christ’s peace. On our website, you will find Masterclasses, online courses, our FWL Planner, our FWL Book Club, our Podcast, our FWL Membership, and other offerings designed to fuel and support your own intentional living journey.

Start small. Start today! We will be here to help you stay the course and inspire others along the way!