Our need for FUN!

I was FaceTiming with my friend Martha, and she told me how she and her daughter have been exploring various international markets in their area, challenging themselves to be adventurous, culinarily speaking, by creating meals from ingredients they hadn’t worked with before. “That is so fun!” I said, remembering how, when my children were small, I loved going to the library and picking out a new cookbook to spark a little creativity in my kitchen.

Inspired by my conversation with Martha, I asked our FWL members about their plans for “fun” this summer. Their responses were delightful! One member shared that she and her kids were visiting a new park each week, while another mentioned that she and her recently retired husband were instituting “Getaway Wednesdays,” where they explore a new town within a two-hour radius. They talked about concerts in the park, art festivals, quilting groups, or reading all the books in a series from a favorite author. Just having a conversation about fun lifted our spirits.

Psychologist and behavioral scientist, Dr. Mark Rucker, author of “The Fun Habit: How the Pursuit of Joy and Wonder Can Change Your Life,” wrote that we “live in a world in which people are critically fun-starved,” and that “Taking back our control, our autonomy, and finding enjoyment has never been more important.”

I must admit that my “fun” skills had gotten rusty. I had to harken back to my childhood, teenage years, and twenties to remember the vital role fun played in my life before the internet and information overload hijacked my attention, increased my stress and anxiety, complicated my schedule, and led to decision fatigue.  I recall:

• Leisurely Sunday drives that would often end with ice cream cones
• Junior high sleepovers that involved fiercely competitive rounds of Pictionary
• Roller skating rinks
• Kickball in the streets
• Writing poetry in coffee shops
• Saturday nights with friends at a Blockbuster Video, picking out movies to rent
• Saving up for a CD from my favorite band and listening to it on repeat until I knew every word by heart
• Playing the Alphabet Game on family road trips
• My parents’ Bowling League team (“The Mixed Nuts”)
• Hours and hours of crafting in my garage

While I’ve never had more access to “entertainment,” I wouldn’t define it as “fun” so much as addiction and escapism. After an impulsive internet binge, I never feel refreshed or connected; instead, I feel scattered, depleted, isolated, and unsettled. “Fun,” on the other hand, is all about engaging with your surroundings, your community, and your own creativity. Fun helps us slow down and be present. Fun reduces stress and produces oxytocin, known as the “love hormone” for its ability to decrease anxiety, build trust, and foster social connections. “Fun” is not a luxury but essential for wellness, balance, and healthier perspectives.  

When we prioritize activities that enrich us with oxytocin, satisfying our need for fun, we’re better equipped to move beyond instant gratification.

- Mike Rucker

I am grateful for this reminder and am actively working on incorporating fun and modeling the rich benefits of fun for my kids this summer. Just this week, after a hectic day, I was sitting on the porch with my husband, Troy, our daughter, Mary, and her boyfriend, Braden, trying to decide what to have for dinner. It was already 7:00 pm, and no one felt like cooking. “Tacos from El Cantarito sound pretty good right now,” my daughter teased, and, suppressing my knee-jerk reaction of “ugh, it’s too late, I’m too tired,” I seized the opportunity to have fun with my family and said, “Yes!” to what turned out to be a beautiful evening of dining al fresco, talking and laughing, driving through Dairy Queen and enjoying our mini Blizzards together around our chiminea. It was 10:00 pm before we called it a night. I went to bed fulfilled and grateful, vowing to open my home and heart to the people and opportunities right in front of me for cultivating joy, light, and togetherness.

Like any healthy habit, making fun a priority requires practice and intention! Creating space for it means simplifying your schedule, quieting your noisy thoughts, detaching from the online world, and becoming fully engaged with your own life as well as the place God has planted you and the people He has surrounded you with. What if we all got out there and spread some oxytocin? What a gift that would be!

Get your bowling shoes on! Light that firepit and invite some friends over! Read a book in your hammock! Try a new recipe! Delight in music, nature, and one another! Life is a miracle worth living fully and attentively!