A quieter mind

Growing up, nothing was more exciting than a road trip to visit our grandparents. A month before our departure, I would start counting down the days, dreaming of playing with my cousins, feasting on root beer floats, riding roller coasters at Kings Island, and listening to the made-up stories my grandma would tell us before bed.

Upon our arrival, my brother and I would rush to the living room, where we would find a clue waiting for us on the fireplace ledge— the first clue of our treasure hunt. “Rub-a-dub-dub, three men in a….” TUB! We would shout, running toward the bathroom, where the next clue was hidden in the bathtub: “Hickory Dickory Dock, three mice ran up a….” CLOCK! Off we’d go to the chiming mantle clock to find further instructions. Eventually, we would reach our final destination, where two wrapped presents awaited us. They were never extravagant—usually a Barbie for me and some Hot Wheels cars for my brother—but they brought us so much joy and excitement!

One year, however, my grandparents took my brother to Toys "R" Us for his birthday. Aisles and aisles filled with every imaginable toy offered endless entertainment. “Pick something out,” they generously encouraged. “Whatever you want!” Initially thrilled, my brother soon became overwhelmed and started to cry. How could he be satisfied with just one toy when there were so many options? What if he missed out on something better? What if he made the wrong choice? When anything and everything became possible, a ravenous sense of discontent was awakened, making him hungry for MORE. What he didn’t have or couldn't have taunted him and created stress in his little body. 

In his book, "The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less," psychologist Barry Schwartz writes, "Apparently, we always think we want choice, but when we actually get it, we may not like it. Meanwhile, the need to choose in ever more aspects of life causes us more distress than we realize." I have experienced this firsthand when the thrill of limitless online options (advice, recipes, news, health tips, shows and music, home decor, shoes, clothes, books, non-toxic cleaning supplies, Airbnb rentals….)  begins to feel paralyzing, leading to overthinking, overspending, confusion, and discontentment.  

When it comes to the role of technology in our lives, there is a significant chasm between "all" and "nothing" that each of us must navigate prayerfully, based on our unique sensitivities and circumstances. There's no universal formula for achieving and maintaining a healthy balance. However, cultivating inner stillness, attentiveness, and vigilance can greatly enhance our awareness of which daily habits and choices increase our stress or alleviate it, soften our hearts or harden them, foster greed or gratitude, and either exhaust or energize us.

The memory of my brother experiencing a mental and emotional breakdown in Toys "R" Us often resurfaces whenever I feel crushed beneath the weight of "too much." In those moments, I remind myself, “Just walk out the door and head back home. Play in the yard, build a fort out of blankets, cut out paper snowflakes, invite a friend over-  remember how to unplug, clear your mind, and find joy in simplicity.”

Currently that looks like spending more time at my public library, listening to CD’s in my car, reading books and magazines, asking for tips and advice from the flesh and blood people in my hometown and FWL communities, loving and taking better care of what I already own, shopping local, being present and detached from the “too muchness” inside my phone, and in general, making my world smaller and getting clarity on what  “enough” means to me. 

The less online content I consume, the less my brain has to process. This reduces the need to make judgments or wrestle with feelings like anxiety, envy, anger, confusion, lust, despondency, and overwhelm. For me, knowing less and seeing less has been liberating and calming. Breaking my scrolling addiction, establishing healthy boundaries, and finding a balance that works with my temperament and vocation has taken some trial and error, but it has been well worth the effort. For my physical, mental, and spiritual health, reducing stress is absolutely essential. A quieter mind is fertile ground for wellness, peace, and creativity.